God damnit! I blew it. I blew the chance I've been waiting for for so long. I blew it. I've been so focused on trying to find her, trying to figure out where the hell she is, where she might be hanging out, where her friends are so that maybe I would find her through them. And out of the blue, I find out that 16 hours ago, she was 100 yards away from me. A very big hop, skip and jump away from me...breathing the same air. I'm so pissed off....I'm just so pissed off. And i know no one will read this, so no one will really know how pissed off I am. I'm sick of this obsession. It's controlling my life. And because of it, i feel like banging my head against the wall because I JUST FUCKING MISSED HER! And in two days, she'll be gone for a month. Travelling all accross the fucking country. And I'll be here....waiting. This sucks.

Seeing the Watson Twins at Spaceland tonight. Really stoked. I'm sick of being cooped up in the house all night and not getting out to experience life. I've been so tired and staying at home isn't getting me any more energized, so if I'm gonna be tired, I may as well be tired while out on the town with a beer in my hand. Fuck fatigue.