Now that I'm trying this again, I'm finding I don't have much to say. Actually, it's the opposite. I have WAY too much to say. Which makes it near impossible to actually write anything. Because where would I begin?

I'll start slow and simple. I'm seeing Jenny Lewis in concert tonight. Again. This is my 12th time seeing her, and my fourth time In the last year, alone. It's nice to know some things never change. But looking at my life now compared to what it was four years ago, it's obvious that sometimes everything changes.

For someone who fears change, I sure do a lot of it. Is it weird that, at 28, I'm just now starting to feel like I'm growing up?

After a four-year absence, I'm thinking maybe I can try this again.

Now all I need are followers...

More Krav Maga today. It kicks ass. Can't wait. Seeing Jenny Lewis on Nov. 30th at Kimmel and December 5th in Irvine. Can't wait for that either. Pierre De Reeder is playing on Dec. 12thand 13th. Going to both. I'm on concert overload. But what these people need to realize is that I'm going to collaborate w/ them. So of course I have to go to their shows. I mean, if they're gonna produce my album, I've gotta know what i'm working with. They are all geniuses. Esp. JLew. Meanwhile, I have to actually look up the spelling of geniuses. Yup. That's me. I'm that girl.

I just started Krav Maga. It's an Israeli martial arts and it burns like 800 calories an hour! I totally love it. It's so much better than just going to the gym and doing the same old shit. The only problem is it costs money and i have no money. Seriously. I need to give something up. My acting lessons are $300 a month, but my teacher would be pissed at me if i asked for time off. And I can't quit guitar. That's just not an option. This sucks. Seriously. I hate money and lack of it.
But I for sure am gonna continue w/ Krav Maga. I leave each class feeling really good. And now i can protect myself and kick some ass when needed. But what should I give up? I reall do want to give the acting classes a break since they cost the most, but my teacher would make a huge deal and make me feel guilty. Hell, last night she made me cry because I had to cancel next week.
I'm way too sensitive.
Shit. That's why i get so sick all the time.
Need to seriously make money. If i had a better body, maybe i'd become a stripper. But I would not want to do that to anybody. That's just cruel.

I got to meet Phyllis, Kevin, Stanley, and Bob Vance of Vance Refridgeration from The Office last night when I went to see Craig's show. So now I've met them, Jenna Fisher, Angela Kinsey, Kate Flannery, Craig Robinson, and John Krasinski. All I have to do now is meet Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, and B.J. Novak and I'll have met the ENTIRE cast of The Office. God I love that show. Oh, and I guess I also have to meet the girl who plays Kelly. But i've still met more than half the cast.

Writer's block. I hate it. Music block sucks too.

But it's a sin when success complains,
and your writers block-it don't mean shit.
Just throw it against the wall and see what sticks.
Gotta write a hit
I think this is it.
It's a hit.

So from nice t-shirt guy to jerky guy whom i like to call the Grinch. It's November. I love Christmas. Christmas is only about 52 days away. That's not a long time and excuse me for liking to celebrate it a bit early. He keeps saying "you shouldn't celebrate it until after thanksgiving" and "christmas sucks" and "you're already looking at christmas sites" and "let me guess, you've already made you're little christmas list and have gotten all your shopping done." He thinks it's funny, but it's really bothering me. It's making me feel bad just cuz I get excited about the holidays. It's the one time of the year when i'm sublimely happy. W/ all the shit going on around me and in my life, it gives me a reason to celebrate. Especially since i was practically suicidal three Christmases ago. It's the time of year i get to see my friends when they come home from wherever they're at and I get to see my whole family all at one time. And this may be the last christmas w/ my grandfather, who is my only living grandparent. I"m trying to make the most of it while I can. But this guy doesn't get it. And he says all this shit incredibly loud so everyone can hear and it's embarassing. He knows how shy I am and he should know that i'm pretty thin-skinned. Bastard.

T-shirt man strikes again! There's this guy at my work who works in accounting. He's such a cool guy! Every time i go down to accounting (which is two or three times a week), he always has to see what t-shirt i'm wearing cuz he says I have the coolest shirts. He says that's the highlight of his day, but i think he's joking when he says that. Cuz that's just sad. Anyhoo, today was my "Hot Damn" shirt w/ jenny lewis. He also dug my "Born Secular", Grateful Dead, Flogging Molly, Guns n Roses, AC/DC, Haight Ashbury, Lynrd Skynrd, and more. Wow, I have a LOT of band shirts.

Speaking of my awesome shirts, I've been thinking I need a change in wardrobe. As soon as I reach my goal weight (16 pounds to go) I want to buy all new clothes and dress more stylish than casual. Let's see if I'll actually do it.

Is anybody out there reading this blog besides T? If so, comment!